


Tipping point

by emma_meerkat



Series: Thad/Others [1]
Category: Glee, Warblers - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:23:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma_meerkat/pseuds/emma_meerkat





	1. When Thad met Eli

Thad returned from getting some fresh air to find Taylor and Travis looking a little worse for wear in the centre of the dance floor. They looked like they were enjoying themselves, but Thad was worried about Taylor's slightly dazed smile. He vowed to himself to keep an eye on Taylor, in case things took a turn for the worse. Thad turned around and spotted a not to familiar shock of blonde hair in the darkness of the room. "Hey Eli," he greeted, smiling widley. "It's Thad. Nice to finally meet in person per say. "

Elijah jumped, spinning around to face Thad with wide, paranoid eyes. Once the man's name sunk in, he relaxed a bit, smiling, "Oh, hey. You look much taller when you're not on a computer screen." He let out an amused giggle, shooting a quick sideways glance at Trevor to make sure the brunet would be okay while he talked to Thad. "You enjoying the party?" He managed to group his thoughts together enough to ask. Eli's pupils were majorly dilated, and his smile appeared more than a little doped up.

Thad shrugged as Elijah questioned him. "I'm not really enjoying it no." he sighed. "I'm really paranoid that Andy's trying to ditch me, and he doesn't want to spend any time with me." Thad looked down, as he poured himself another drink. "Taylor's dancing, Sebastian's probably fucking someone in his room, and I'm kind of lonely..." he admitted, looking at the shorter blonde. "I'm surprised you think I'm tall, I'm actually the shortest of just about everyone here."

Elijah smiled, "Silly Thad. Don't be lonely." He hugged the man tightly, eyes lighting up, "Ooh, there's still punch? I thought it was out!" He poured himself a drink, taking a long swig before he took a breath and grinned widely, booze meshing perfectly with his high, "Well, no time to worry about Andy if you're busy, right? So why not go dance?"

Thad smiled as Elijah hugged him. It felt nice to have someone hug him because he was sad. He had to ask Andy or Sebastian to do the same for him, he was always the hugger, not the hugee. "I was dancing earlier." Thad answered, as he watched Elijah sway a little from the buzz of the alcohol. "I just don't feel like it at the moment."

Elijah gasped playfully, "What? Not feeling dancing? Are you nuts? It's ALWAYS a good time for dancing!" To demonstrate, he started dancing in place, making sure not to spill his drink as he grinned at Thad, before taking another drink. "Get into it, Thad! Otherwise, what else is there to DO at parties? Especially when everyone else is either drunk or high." He giggled a bit, "So join 'em, or dance!" He moved closer to him, dancing, "You know you wanna~"

Thad rolled his eyes and put his hands up in defence. "Drink your drink Elijah and I'll show you dancing. I'm Spanish sweetheart, I know how to dance. My mother enrolled me for dance class when I was at school in Paris. I'm a pro."  
Elijah downed the rest of his drink, grinning broadly at Thad once he finished, "Ready to put your money where your mouth is, pretty boy?" He smirked, eyes flashing with eagerness and amusement, him not yet seeing Jaycee.

Thad grinned and his smirk widened. "You think I'm pretty Eli?" he asked, taking Elijah's hand and pulling him on to the dance floor. "I didn't bet that I was a better dancer than you, but if you want money, I'll bet on it Blondie."

Elijah snorted, "Please. I don't have money to spare yet. Just enough until I get that job. I meant how you said you were a good dancer." He grinned wryly up at Thad, "Well, I want proof. So go ahead, let's dance. But I'm warning you now, I may step on your feet." His eyes twinkled playfully, "I've never danced all Spanish-like before."

Thad laughed, and pulled him closer. "It's called latin sweetheart." Thad said, as he moved their bodies in time to the music. "Follow my lead, and I'll make you look good, when I move my feet move yours back. We'll start basic, and see what you can do." he explained, leading Elijah into a make shift salsa, surprised that the Southern boy could follow his lead.

Elijah tried his hardest to keep his feet away from Thad's, seriously worried that he would cripple the man, or something as they danced. He stumbled occasionally, but managed to dance well enough for someone both tipsy and high. "So, feeling any better?" He called after a bit.

Thad shrugged, as he lead Elijah into a spin. "I'm not feeling as bad." he returned, leaning into Elijah so he could make sure the younger boy heard him. "I'm still not feeling great. Relationship problems suck."

Elijah: "Try dipping me?" He grinned wryly up at Thad, pouting a bit when the man shrugged, "Pfft, relationships...just have fun! No worries Cut loose!"

Thad laughed, as he dipped Elijah down so that his blonde hair was trailing on the dance floor. "What can I say? I'm a pro." he grinned, pulling him up to full height. "I don't think they suck, It's nice to feel wanted, and that someone's going to be there for you. But at the moment I don't feel wanted, or sexy... or anything really."

Elijah made a 'pfft' noise again, giggling when he was dipped, "A pro indeed! Er, what was I going to say next?" he pondered, not quite sure, "Oh! Well...why not feel sexy? Latin's supposed to be all...well, sexy, right? And I want you here." He grinned coyly, "I like dancing with you, and talking with you. You're...a pretty awesome guy." His eyes glowed feverishly in the low light, pupils still dilated beyond normal size.

Thad smiled warmly as the song changed, his mind choreographing a routine in his head. "Thanks Elijah." Thad replied, hugging him close to his chest. "I've had dance lessons, and I'm doing it properly, ergo I'm a pro. But I'm better at Tennis." He added with a wink. "Do you want to go get some fresh air, you look a little dazed."

Elijah protested, "No, no, I'm fine! And," he giggled, "you said a funny word..."ergo"...'s like a Shakespeare book! And you play tennis? So you're a server?" He laughed loudly at his obvious innuendo, grinning like an idiot, "Swinging your racket around, hitting your balls..."

Thad shoved him playfully. "Ergo means therefore dear. It's just a fancy word." he shook his head in amusement. "I play tennis, I've been coached by Nadal, and Ivan Lendal, he coaches Andy Murray. I'm pretty good. But yes I do hit balls."

Elijah started cackling at that one, shoulders shaking from how oddly funny he found that, finally taking in a breath and speaking once more, "None of those names are familiar...sorry pumpkin." He giggled a bit at that; he hadn't used that as a nickname since he had last seen his sisters.

Thad rolled his eyes at the cackling blonde. "You're so American..." he said, exasperated. "Like come on. Rafael Nadal is literally one of the biggest names in Tennis. And Andy Murray is the world number four... American's..."  
Elijah: "Yeah, well, my family doesn't know the existence of any sporting teams outside our local college's football team. Tennis isn't even on the radar. Shoot, for years in school I'd hear people talking about something called the Olympics, but felt too shy to ask what exactly they were."

Thad scoffed as he slung his arm around Elijah. "Mark my words Eli, I am taking full responsibility to make you more cultured, you poor southern sap." he grinned. "Andy and I went to the Olympics, Flint was swimming, and I got to go to Wimbledon." he laughed at the puzzled expression on the blonde's face. "It's like the HOME of tennis. It's beautiful. Oh and then we went to Barcelona, and went to the Neu Camp. Where Barcelona play football. or..." he paused and made air quotes in the air. "Soccer."

Elijah blinked in confusion, "Wait, Barcelona plays football and soccer in the same place? How do they get rid of the goal posts?"

Thad giggled and shook his head. "You American's call football, soccer." he explained slowly. "I'm European, I call 'soccer' football, because it's how it is. American football is called rugby in Europe."

"But...rugby's it's own sport!" He protested, "Isn't it? People's ears can get bitten off? Or something? I don't know..." He slumped, looking sad, "Maybe I AM a hillbilly."

Thad smiled patting Elijah's head. "It's okay Eli." he nodded sagely. "I'll teach you the ways of them city folk, with sport, and planes..."

Elijah glared at Thad, "Don't talk down to me, you Spaniard! We kicked your asses in the Bahamas!"

Thad snorted, as he crossed his arms. "I don't mind that you're a country person. I like having other people around. But like, child you need to know more about sports. Tennis and football are really awesome."


	2. Chapter 2

Thad looked at his phone after he sent the last text to Elijah, feeling immediately guilty. Andy had left his room a few hours before, and due to Thad's school schedule, he had Friday's off, but had classes for the whole of Saturday, didn't follow his red-headed boyfriend back to Campus. Thad hadn't seen his blonde friend in over a week since the whole kiss incident and Elijah all but confessing that he had feelings for the Spanish brunette. The fall-out with Andy had been reminiscent of their falling out over Sebastian when they were first dating, and it was beginning to get under his skin, and knowing Elijah liked him was making the whole thing much more complicated than Thad anticipated, but he was beginning to crave company of someone who made him feel happy for a short while, and not guilty because he wasn't living up to the expectations he'd set for himself, that was why Thad invited Elijah over, not for any other reasons that his brain helpfully supplied, now was not the time to think about that.

Elijah had a sick feeling in his stomach the whole drive to the flat, driving automatically. He didn't see the road in front of him; he was too preoccupied worrying about Thad and how he'd react when he saw the man again. Unafraid to admit it any more, he realized how his heart beat faster when he thought of the man. Thad had suddenly become so much more to him, though he knew nothing could ever come of it. So, swallowing down his nerves, he pushed the feelings away as he parked his car. Heading into the building, he beeped the man, and headed up once Thad let him. Knocking on the door, feelings successfully pushed away, he prepared a warm smile for his friend.

Thad grinned as he opened the door to find the familiar blonde at his door. "Punctual as always Eli." he commented, unsure as to whether or not he should hug the blonde. "It's good to see a friendly face." he smiled, stepping aside and letting the blonde come in. "I made paella, because I had some prawns that I needed to use, and I really didn't want to eat a load of prawns myself."

Elijah hugged his friend tightly, determined not to let his previous slip up ruin their usual mojo. He pulled back with an eager grin, and a, "So what are prawns, exactly? And what's paella?" The blond knew he'd likely have to keep himself in check, or his smile might just rip the skin clean off his face. He hadn't realized through all the other worries about Thad how much he truly missed him. Eli strolled into the familiar flat, slipping his hands into his pockets as he glanced around. "Do you get a maid, here?" He asked curiously.

Thad chuckled as Elijah commented on the cleanliness of his apartment. "Weirdly enough I'm quite a clean person, so thanks for noticing." Thad smiled, "I take it you don't get seafood in the sticks then? Prawns are just small little shellfish. And Paella is a seafood based dish with spicy sausage, vegetables and rice. It's Spanish, like me."

Elijah laughed, "So, in other words, if I ever decided to turn cannibalistic, you would taste like shellfish, spicy sausage, vegetables and rice? I thought rice was an Asian thing." He followed his nose into the kitchen, looking for said food. "But hey; I'll try anything once. Specially since you cook so well. And why do you cook so much when it's only you eating it?" He offered the brunet a teasing smile over his shoulder.

Thad rolled his eyes and followed Elijah into the kitchen. "I'm pretty sure that's not the case, you know." he commented offhand, "Not that I condone cannibalism, in anyway, but you know. It's a different type of rice used in Paella, it's Arborio rice, its smaller and creates a different texture. It's neat. And I freeze a lot of stuff, so I usually have it another day, or like eat it for lunch the next day. I'm resourceful like that."

Elijah took a seat at the table, pondering. "So, if there was ever an apocalypse, I could come here for food?" He grinned up at Thad, "Then you and I and likely Andy and Sebastian and Taylor can go all badass with our guns, while enjoying nice home cooked meals in between?" Eli was in a rather goofy mood, him leaning back in his seat as he watched the Spanish man. "I like how you're afraid of offending my cannibalistic ways." He snorted, then threw in at the last moment, almost ADHD-like, "And what's texture got to do with anything?"

Thad frowned at the younger boy, who seemed to have consumed a truck full of sugar on his way over. "Well I guess so." thad shrugged, pouring a jug of liquid into the pan. "It absorbs the flavour much better than ordinary rice. So the flavour of the whole dish is better than a bland rice dish. I don't really know how it works, I just go with it, and this is how my gran taught me it, so I'm a cook because of her. That and my mother threatened me if I didn't learn how to cook, because and I quote... 'How could I bag a nice man if I couldn't cook.'"

Elijah groaned, "Ah...cooking speak. Does not compute, man. Does not compute." He let out a quick laugh, "So, the texture makes it absorb flavor? That's so confusing..." Eli whistled a bit, trying to keep from firing off more questions and let Thad take his words without over loading the man. He watched the Spanish man cook, him craning his neck curiously, before giving up when he realized that he couldn't see around the brunet.

Thad grinned at him, setting the utensils down. "I forget how endearing I find your special ways." he said with a hint of fondness in his voice. "Basically." Thad said in a slow voice. "It's special rice for this dish." he added with a nod. "The rice isn't cooked yet, we've got another half an hour or so. Do you want to play Mario Kart, or I have the new Fifa. But I guess you've never played fifa in your life."

Elijah pouted as he craned his neck once again, "Hey. Don't make assumptions. Just because I haven't heard of Fifa, doesn't mean I COULDN'T have... But whatever, that's not the point~!" He stood up, body feeling rather jumpy, "And I've never played Mario Kart either, so I'm willing to try whatever you're in the mood for."  
Thad bounced a little on his feet. "Well we're playing fifa then. It's football, as in the european football. It's SO addictive, and awesome." he nodded eagerly. "Sit Eli. I'll teach you all my ways. I still owe you a cultural experience."

Elijah chuckled, ready to follow his friend into whatever room the game system was hooked up to. "Every day I spend with you is a cultural experience." He grumbled, "Though it's usually American..." The blond crossed his arms, kind of confused why Europe would have different football then America. What sense did that make?

Thad smiled as Elijah talked. "In America they call it Soccer... That's why their league is called the MLS." he explained, sitting down on the sofa. "American's have American Football, but we have actual football. It's confusing and stupid, but hey. It's a European invention; American's ruin a lot of awesome things."

Elijah pouted at his friend, "Hey, don't forget who you're talking to, here!" The blond managed to flip his bangs out of his face while still looking insulted. But then he blinked, "Wait...I don't even like most sports." He started laughing.

Thad leaned against Elijah's shoulder. "You don't really like anything." Thad laughed, "Other than architecture. Which is why, I really want to take you to Europe. Because, you'll weep at some of the places there. The churches are magnificent."

Elijah sputtered, "H-Hey! I like lots of things! I like clothing, most furniture, bonfires, animals, photography..." Though it slowly faded into a smile as Thad finished speaking, "As lovely as that sounds, I'd never be able to afford a trip to Europe. Honestly, I don't expect to ever leave the United States. Not by choice, of course, simply due to my limited resources."

Thad shoved his shoulder. "What part of I want to take you to Europe, makes it sound that you'd have to pay for anything?" Thad frowned, giving him a firm look. "Animals are awesome and so is photography."

Elijah raised an eyebrow at Thad, "And bonfires and comfy couches aren't?" He sighed a bit, giving the brunet a look, "And I told you -I don't want you paying for my stuff. You know I hate mooching off of you. I only accepted the stuff for the job because I didn't want to look too bumpkin-y." A small flash of hurt still crossed his features when he said that. Eli hated being thought of as not good enough for the new world he was in, but it was true.

Thad sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I hate going home alone. I just want someone to enjoy my stupid lifestyle with. Andy doesn't like it, You don't like it, Sebastian lives it... I'm just always so fucking lonely." he huffed, getting up and switching on the large TV."

Elijah had his eyes soften, reaching out and wrapping a comforting arm around his friend. "Hey...I'm happy to share it with you, okay? I just don't want you to think that's the only reason I'm here. I want you to know I'm here for you, NOT your stuff."

Thad gave the blonde a look before settling into his comforting embrace. "I'm so confused about everything right now." he whispered, hoping Eli wouldn't hear and he could forget about it a little. "I know you're here for me Eli, You're too nice."

Elijah wrapped his other arm around his friend, holding Thad tightly. "I know...I want to help all I can." He murmured softly, rubbing his friend's back, "And I do want you to know I'm here for you. And that I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable. I just want you to be happy; nothing else matters to me."

Thad looked up at him with sad brown eyes. "I don't know what I want any more Eli..." he admitted, leaning into the comforting arms of the blonde. "I've never had anyone actually be interested in me, and you're also my friend... and...." he sighed, burying his head in Elijah's chest.

Elijah just continued to gently soothe his friend, murmuring, "You've obviously had others be interested in you, silly. You have a boyfriend." He started to trace little pictures on Thad's back. "Look, just because I'm interested in you doesn't mean anything has to change. You can stay with Andy and keep me as a friend, there's nothing wrong with that, and I wouldn't blame you." A knife twisted in Eli's gut as he spoke, but he knew that he wanted to keep Thad happy more than anything. "It doesn't need to be complicated, Thad. I'm not going anywhere, no matter what you decide."

Thad swallowed as he felt gooseflesh appear after Eli traced little pictures on his back, the heat from the blonde's fingers seeping through his shirt. "A...And if..." he stammered trying to raise the courage to ask the question. "If I didn't have a boyfriend? What would that mean?"  
Elijah blinked, confused by the statement, though he kept his tone soft and light, "Well, then I suppose we could go whatever way you wanted." He wanted to make sure that Thad knew he wasn't going to force him into a decision. Eli traced a little heart with the brunet's name in it, him smiling a bit, before drawing an arrow going through it, then starting on a rabbit. "I wouldn't pressure you."

Thad nodded as he curled into Elijah's body. "You really like me don't you?" he asked, as more of a statement than a question, "I don't want to hurt you Eli, and I don't want to hurt Andy... but I can't keep the pair of you happy, when I'm so confused about the whole situation myself...."

Elijah shook his head rapidly, "No, no, no! I'm happy so long as I have you as my friend. Nothing else matters." He spoke firmly, trying to reassure Thad. "Whether I like you or not doesn't matter. You're the only thing here that matters to me. I'm happy if YOU'RE happy. Okay?"  
Thad didn't respond, immediately choosing to listen to Elijah's heart beat against his ear. The blonde was making it even harder for Thad to be confused as to what he actually wanted any more. He couldn't deal with the nagging guilt or the feeling of shame when he curled into Elijah's body for comfort. He was screwed.  
Elijah joined the chat 3 hours ago  
Elijah: "Thad?" He spoke after a long pause, "You okay?" The blond wasn't having any easier of a time then the Spanish man, but he kept it roped together for him. Elijah's heartbeat thudded quickly in reaction to how close Thad was, it unable to calm itself like the thoughts.

Thad looked up at the blonde with a melancholic expression. "Do you want me to lie to make you feel better?" he asked, looking down at his hands again. "I'm not okay, but if you want me to be okay, I'll be okay."

Elijah whispered, drawing Thad close, "how can I make it okay? How can I help you? Please, let me know." A hand reached out without warning, to lightly cup the brunet's chin, making Thad's gaze rise to meet his own. Eli's blue eyes were burning with an odd light, "I hate seeing you so sad."

Thad let out a shaky breath as Elijah lightly caressed his chin. "It's something I have to fix myself." he said, his voice laced with sadness. "You can help by being you Eli, there's nothing more that you can do. I just need to figure this whole thing out. Before it's too late."

Elijah watched his friend with equally sad eyes, "What makes it too late?" He realized that he was breaking his vow with the cradling of the Spanish boy. But Eli couldn't say no to the man -he couldn't push him away when Thad was so vulnerable. He'd do anything for his friend.  
Thad shook his head, not wanting to talk about something he couldn't live up to. "I'm just trying to figure out what I want." Thad said, looking back up into eli's concerned eyes. "I'm trying to figure out who I want."

Elijah blinked, processing, "Who you...?" He stopped talking, eyes going wide, cheeks and ears going cherry red. Eli finally got it. "You don't mean...?" He had to know for sure that he wasn't making something that wasn't there. His eyes suddenly couldn't meet Thad's, Elijah feeling too worried.

Thad rubbed his forehead not knowing if he could actually say it. "If you're thinking what I'm thinking then, yeah..." he whispered sighing heavily. "I don't know what I want any more. I was happy, and then... There's something here isn't there? Something that I don't know how to explain, or how to deal with it. I thought I could ignore it... but... I need to figure myself out."

Elijah watched his friend with burning eyes, "What made you realize you couldn't just ignore it? Even if...Even if you only find me attractive, you're not an idiot. I..." he swallowed, feeling pained as he said it, "I doubt I could make you as happy as Andy does..."

Thad shivered as Elijah's gaze burned into him. "But what if you could....?" he whispered, not meeting Elijah's gaze. "... and it was kind of when you kissed me, and I couldn't brush it off.”

Elijah felt him shudder and began an internal debate on letting Thad go or not. A strange hunger was rising up in the blond, scaring him and making him fear for what he'd do. But on the other hand, he knew letting go of the fragile brunet wasn't a good idea. "I'm sorry I kissed you..." he murmured automatically, "It wasn't right of me at all." His eyes shut and his grip tightened around Thad, "And what if I CAN'T?" He whispered back.

Thad pulled away and stood up, wanting to stop the conversation before they got too far to salvage their friendship. "Mario Kart, please Eli, can we just forget about it... I want to salvage our friendship. I've already said too much. You do make me happy, and sad, and crazy, and safe all at the same time."

Elijah sat there, watching Thad walk away as he sighed, "Why say it at all, if you didn't even mean to?" He felt a strange hurt that the brunet didn't want his comfort anymore, and just muttered, "Nevermind. Just set it up -I still need to learn how to play it."

Thad dropped to his knees in a loud sigh, and began fixing the games console. "Because when I'm around you I can't help but be honest." He returned, "You listen to me and make me happier. You;re more than a friend to me. I guess you were when you comforted me in the hospital"

Elijah frowned, not understanding the last part, "What about me comforting you in the hospital?"  
Thad laughed bitterly, "When I basically poured my heart out to you, and you gave me a massage."  
Elijah flinched a bit, wondering why Thad sounded so bitter. "Yeah, but, what about that?" He wondered if maybe a massage hadn't been the right response for his comforting back then.  
Thad shook his head. "No it wasn't bad...." Thad sighed, looking at the tv as he started to set up the game. "You're just so nice Elijah, and then you're just so likeable, and its hard to stay mad at you. I couldn't even be angry with you when you kissed me. And Andy flipped out so much because of it. I don't know what that says, but I'm not even mad about it. I'm just so conflicted I wish I knew what I wanted."  
Elijah felt a surge of guilt go through him. "I'm sorry I'm making your life so much more complicated..." He spoke so softly, it'd be a miracle if Thad could even hear him. Eli gathered up his legs with his arms, sitting all curled into himself. "I never...I never intended..." He trailed off, not bothering to finish.  
Thad sat beside him on the sofa leaning against the back of it. "Cuddle into me, please." he whispered, looking at the blonde curled into himself. "You don't have to apologise for being yourself. You gave me my spark back... and you listen to me. Everything is complicated."

Elijah sat there, watching Thad walk away as he sighed, "Why say it at all, if you didn't even mean to?" He felt a strange hurt that the brunet didn't want his comfort anymore, and just muttered, "Nevermind. Just set it up -I still need to learn how to play it."  
Thad dropped to his knees in a loud sigh, and began fixing the games console. "Because when I'm around you I can't help but be honest." He returned, "You listen to me and make me happier. You;re more than a friend to me. I guess you were when you comforted me in the hospital"  
Elijah frowned, not understanding the last part, "What about me comforting you in the hospital?"  
Thad laughed bitterly, "When I basically poured my heart out to you, and you gave me a massage."  
Elijah flinched a bit, wondering why Thad sounded so bitter. "Yeah, but, what about that?" He wondered if maybe a massage hadn't been the right response for his comforting back then.  
Thad shook his head. "No it wasn't bad...." Thad sighed, looking at the tv as he started to set up the game. "You're just so nice Elijah, and then you're just so likeable, and its hard to stay mad at you. I couldn't even be angry with you when you kissed me. And Andy flipped out so much because of it. I don't know what that says, but I'm not even mad about it. I'm just so conflicted I wish I knew what I wanted."  
Elijah felt a surge of guilt go through him. "I'm sorry I'm making your life so much more complicated..." He spoke so softly, it'd be a miracle if Thad could even hear him. Eli gathered up his legs with his arms, sitting all curled into himself. "I never...I never intended..." He trailed off, not bothering to finish.  
Thad sat beside him on the sofa leaning against the back of it. "Cuddle into me, please." he whispered, looking at the blonde curled into himself. "You don't have to apologise for being yourself. You gave me my spark back... and you listen to me. Everything is complicated."  
Elijah obeyed silently, curling into Thad's warmth, as he laid his head comfortably against the Spanish man, murmuring, "Where's my controller?" He took in a deep breath, heart beat fluttering as he realized how warm the man was and how good he smelled. "And you've always had that spark..." He murmured, eyes fluttering closed, "It's lovely, and it's a part of who you are."  
Elijah was timed out 39 hours ago  
Thad joined the chat 30 hours ago  
Thad nodded, cuddling him closer. "And your loveliness is part of who you are." Thad whispered, passing Elijah the second controller. "Can I ask you something?" Thad prompted, looking down at the blonde. "Are you thinking of kissing me right now?"  
Elijah joined the chat 28 hours ago  
Thad was timed out 28 hours ago  
Elijah offered him a smile, though it seemed dull and sad, "No, I'm not. I've learned my lesson. I won't think of that, because you're not mine TO kiss... It's not right for either of us..." A pained look crossed his face, "I should have realized that, back when I kissed you... I'm so sorry." Eli's grip on his controller tightened.  
Elijah joined the chat 28 hours ago  
Thad joined the chat 26 hours ago  
Thad rubbed Elijah's hand as the blond switched out of their conversation. "Having this conversation isn't either, but I needed to get it off of my chest." Thad sighed, as the menu for the game came on the screen. "You can pick who you want, I don't mind who I beat you with."  
Elijah picked baby Mario and baby Luigi, along with a normal looking cart. "...What if I told I did?" He murmured after a moment, "That I wish I could just hold you close and kiss you until you're not sad anymore?" Then his voice rose to a normal pitch, like they were having two totally different conversations, "Alright, how do you play this?"  
Thad closed his eyes at Elijah's words, trying hard to not to think about Elijah kissing him and holding him close. "I don't know if I could bring myself to resit it for much longer." he whispered back. "Left, you go Left. Right, you go right. You accelerate automatically, B is for break. Pretty much it." he answered.  
Elijah nodded, murmuring, "Simple." He glanced over at Thad, "Who are you playing as?" He fought off the next question, though he couldn't help asking, "So you do want me too. Right? I'm not just imagining this?" Eli bit his tongue so hard that it drew blood, him immediately apologizing, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, feel free to ignore me, really. Let's just play. Then I want some of your delicious, Spanish not-Asian rice." He threw in the light tease, though his nervous laughter afterward sort of cancelled that out.  
Thad looked over at the blonde. "I do like you Eli, more than I know I should when I'm still in a relationship." he answered. "But you can have as much paella as you'd like."  
Elijah joined the chat 25 hours ago  
Thad joined the chat 24 hours ago  
Elijah: "Shall we start the race?" He asked absently, Thad's careful phrasing of his confession oddly annoying to him. Selfish as it was, Eli wished his friend had said it in a more...personal way. In the way he said it, it basically based his affection for Elijah as compared to his affection for Andy.  
Thad nodded as he pressed start on the game, quickly becoming absorbed in the race rather than the complex swarm of emotions in his head and in the room. He couldn't say any more until he knew what Andy thought, because it was totally different falling head first into something new, before anything new was formed. Thad knew he was drawn to the blonde, Thad knew he was attracted to Elijah, and he knew the feeling was mutual. But having being burned so much in the past had left Thad more cautious about getting his heart broken, and doing anything other than talking in a hypothetical sense with Elijah would inevitably lead.

Elijah came in last place in the race, having started swearing like a sailor every time he fell off a ledge. "Dammit! This game..." He growled, focusing on doing better. "Let's do another run. I know I'll do better this time around." Eli was entirely absorbed in the "devil game" as he kept grumbling, his frustration with Thad being mercifully pushed out of the way for the time being.

Thad giggled as Elijah continued to swear in a heavy Southern accent whenever the race started to get away from him. "The problem with Mario Kart is that it turns everyone into a raging lunatic. No matter how refined they think they are, Mario Kart is the devil."

Elijah muttered, "Yew could say that again..." His accent was very thick at this point, brow furrowed with frustration, "God damn it Birdo! I will fuckin' kill yew!" His knuckles were practically white as he gripped at the controller. "I'm gonna kill her." He repeated, eyes dark and wild. "She will not throw another fuckin' shell at me without consequences!"

Thad laughed as Elijah's voice grew more southern. "Calm your passion." He said softly, looking up at his blonde companion. "Its only a game babe."

Elijah turned to look at Thad, something odd flashing in his eyes, "Yew play games tuh win, right? Well, tha's what I'm tryin'!" He huffed, determination dark in his eyes.

Thad blinked in confusion as Elijah snapped at him. "I guess, but its all light hearted fun really."

Elijah took a deep breath, his accent fading, "You're right, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." He laughed sheepishly, cheeks going red as internally he wondered about his randomly changing mood. It felt awkward and unnatural to him, the blond looking over at Thad, worried he upset the man.

Thad put the controller down and stood up walking into the kitchen. "You were like a man possessed, Eli." Thad said, shaking his head in a fond manner. "Twas a little unnerving..."

Elijah grinned easily up at Thad, before jumping up himself and trailing after his friend, ready for food. "I'm sorry!" He laughed, "I never meant to scare you!"

Thad hummed giving him a look. "You can be a little intense when you're getting in to things like this." Thad hummed, plating the paella into two bowls. "You're a little crazy, but I like it."

Elijah stole the first full bowl, eager to try out the new food. "Forks?" He asked curiously, assuming what utensil was the correct one. Then Thad's words sunk in and he blushed sheepishly, relaxing as he replied, "I-I'm sorry... I don't mean to seem so unhinged." For some odd reason, he really didn't care for being called crazy.

Thad shrugged. "I'm used to unhinged, being best friends with Sebastian, he knows things about me I don't think I could tell anyone, sober at least." Thad nodded, looking to Elijah's face as the blonde started to dig into his food. "Tell me what you think about it?"

Elijah ate a few bites before he finally let himself ponder over the taste, though that didn't go very far; the delectable flavoring had turned him into a pile of mush. "It's so gooood...!" He groaned out, that all he was able to muster, before digging back in again. It was a good thing the food had distracted him so; the Sebastian comment was a fast way to get him jealous.  
Thad preened a little as Elijah groaned at the taste of his food. "I'm glad you can enjoy what I cook." he said, digging in to his own bowl. "You're always welcome here for food." he added with a soft smile.

Elijah looked up at Thad, cheeks stuffed with food like a chipmunk's. He swallowed, then shook his head at his friend. "I'm not coming here just to eat your food. That is neither polite or nice, and it sends the wrong message. I will enjoy it while it's here."

Thad ran his fingers through his hair. "Why couldn't you have moved to Dalton when I was single?" he groaned aloud, eating his paella. "You're just so nice."

Elijah spoke simply, "I couldn't move here when you were single because fate wanted us to meet now." Elijah went back to eating, tacking on a "thanks for the compliment" at the end.

Thad sat down on the breakfast bar and looked at Elijah. "You're most welcome." he answered, looking at the bowl of food and hoping to find the answers there. "I'm just so conflicted, I don't want to keep leading you on... but I don't know what to do."

Elijah set his fork down, sighing slightly, "Thad...I don't know either. I like you, yes. But I like Jaycee too. Wouldn't it just be easier if we both stuck to our original partners?" The words slid right out of his mouth, Eli blinking after they were said. It sounded oddly harsh for him, but it was the truth, so he couldn't just take it back. "That way everyone's happy."

Thad shook his head and jumped down before heading into the bedroom and planting face down on the bed. "It's not that straight forward." Thad whispered into the duvet, sniffing as he wondered if Elijah would follow. "It's not as if I can explain that thinking of you with Jaycee makes me irrationally jealous. But I love Andy, and I know Andy loves me."

Elijah did follow, surprised by Thad's sudden departure, as he watched the brunet flop onto his bed. "You're...jealous?" His eyes drooped a bit sympathetically; he was guilty of the same thing, except with two people instead of just one. "Then you go on to tell me that you love Andy. That's a tad hypocritical, Thad." He snorted quietly, adding in, "I always want to call you Thaddeus, but I don't even know if that's your actual middle name, or if it's just Thad." The blond walked over to the side of the bed and plopped down next to his friend, watching him. "I've always loved your name, speaking of. It just...has a really nice feel to it, when I say it." He knew that was random, but it had been something he'd thought for a while now.

Thad looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression, before holding his hand out. "James Thad Thomas, or James Jr, as my dad used to introduce me." he said, shaking the blonde's hand. "I hated being associated with my dad when I was little. He was so cold, and always busy. I knew he loved me. But it came when I was six or seven when I began showing interest in sports." he mused aloud. "Okay, I'm a little jealous. And I know I have no right to be. I know that Andy makes me happy, and I know we're just trying to work at our own things before we can be better for each other. I just miss him, and I miss having someone to banter with, someone to flirt with, someone to love. I hardly ever see him, but when we're together I do feel complete again. But I'm finding that you're giving me more or less the same things, and still look at me with that wide-eyed wonder, that I'm someone a little special. And I don't know. If I could have both I would. But I don't want to hurt anyone. Sometimes I think about just hopping on a plane home and not looking back.”

Elijah snorted, "I knew your first name, dumbass. I just didn't know if Thad was your full middle name." But as the brunet talked, he wilted, "So I'm just a decent replacement for Andy..." He whispered, pain in his eyes as he forced a smile, "Well, even more of a reason for you to just stay with him. I mean, why get Splenda when you can have the original? Everyone knows real sugar is best..." He looked away from his friend, reminding himself that that was the ONLY title Thad could.

Thad shook his head and pulled Elijah back to him. "At first you might have been, but I really do like you Eli." Thad said, pressing his lips to Elijah's cheek. "But we both know it's far more, and far more complicated than that. I didn't know I could find one person who made me feel the way I wanted to feel, and I'm lucky to have three in my life. I'm sorry I hurt you, I really am. I just don't know how else to address the feelings I have."

Elijah felt his eyes well with tears, "Three...I'm one of three..." His body slumped and he felt so sick to his stomach, that he wouldn't be surprised if his cheeks turned green. "Thad, maybe we should try to stop this between us..." He mumbled, hating how unwilling he was to give up something that wasn't his. "Before you get hurt." It was too late for Eli; he felt like his heart was breaking. And yet, his cheek still felt warmer where the brunet touched it.

Thad felt his heart stop as Elijah's eyes filled with tears. "Eli please don't cry." he pleaded, hating how thick his voice sounded as their conversation became more emotionally charged. "I... don't want to stop what ever this is." he sniffed, "You know I really do care about you... I know my heart would break if you wanted nothing to do with me any more..." he closed his eyes and started singing the song that popped into his head. "I dreamed a dream in time gone by..." he softly sang. "When hope was high and life worth loving. I dreamt that love would never die, I dreamed that god would be forgiving."

Elijah listened to the man's lovely voice, speaking cheerily through his tears, "You have a lovely voice... And maybe we should stop this. Thad, neither I or Andy deserves anything less then your full attention when it comes to romance. And, my feelings set side, I'd never stop being your friend." He hugged Thad tightly, hiding his rapidly falling tears.  
Thad kissed the blonde's hair as he felt Elijah sob into his chest. "Please don't cry Elijah." he begged, stroking the other boys hair. "I'm really not worth crying over, I'm really not. I feel like such a cunt that you're crying over what I cant give you. Honestly, all I want to do now is kiss away your tears, and make you feel better. I'm so sorry I can't give you want you deserve. I really should just leave you and Andy well alone."

Elijah let out a ragged sob, clinging to Thad desperately, "N-No...don't...don't forsake your and Andy's happiness for a home wrecker like me... It's, it's what I deserve... I don't deserve you, and I knew how much you loved Andy from day one. I'M the c-cunt who thought he could ruin that..."

Thad shook his head and held Elijah close. "Shut up okay, it's my fault that I let myself lead you on. I'm sorry Eli, I really am. You're not a homewrecker, christ if you were I wouldn't be here trying to make you feel better. I do love you Eli, maybe not in the way I love Andy, or 'Bas, but I do love you. I care about your happiness, I care that I'm the one that's making you sad. And I can't forgive myself for that. I'm sorry."

Elijah felt an uncharacteristic flare of anger, "So basically, you don't care for me like that." He pulled back, glaring at Thad, "You never have. Was I really that fucking stupid?" The blond rose, disbelief glittering in his eyes, "Every single connection was nothing. You know, I'm not surprised." His voice turned bitter, "I'm sorry my fairy tale fucked with your relationship." Eli walked toward the door, but not looking back, "I'm sure we can be friends again, but not right now, Thad. I can't handle that right now. I'm sorry. Hopefully someday soon, I can. But that's up in the air."

Thad had had enough. "You know what?" he snapped, his own tone laced with frustration and anger. "You know about my feelings for Sebastian, he's my BEST friend, and he was the first boy I EVER loved. Of course my feelings are going to be different, to what I feel for Andy. I really do love him, because he protects me from the daemons that live in my head. And they're pretty fucking dark Elijah, I've had some pretty fucked up things in my life and I try not to think about them, or let them dictate my future. You've had it rough, and you're lashing out at me because I want to try and protect all three relationships in my life." he exhaled slowly trying to regain his composure, whilst hot wet tears fell down his cheeks. "And just when I feel like I've got them in balance you come along and blow all my feelings to pieces. I trust you with picking up my pieces than I do Sebastian, you listen to me more than Andy. You know when I'm upset better than either of them, and frankly you can steer me back to sanity quicker as well. But you drive me more insane than the pair of them because every conversation we seem to have is so charged than I'm seconds away from leaning in and kissing you. And it's tearing me apart. I'm sorry that I'm not eloquent enough to put my feelings into words, because I think actions speak louder. I don't trust myself not to give in, and I've already done that to Andy before, and I won't do it to him again.... I'm a fucked up mess. And you're holding that against me. And I'm sorry that you feel like that."


End file.
